Lyrics

Disconnected

Sometimes I drive with my eyes closed
Because I'm wondering if the moment's true
I used to think that was abnormal
Apparently I've got a friend who's fucked up like me too

Isn't it strange to be destructive
To prove yourself you're in control
Isn't it strange I'm disconnected
From what I'm seeing and what I'm told

Sometimes I gamble with my heart
Even though the odds are bad I go all in
Almost always come up empty handed
Normal people always end up losing more than they win

Isn't it strange to take a gamble
To prove yourself you’re in control
Isn't it strange I'm disconnected
From what I'm winning and what I'm sold

Sometimes I wonder what I’m doing
Living like a rat with one foot in the cage
What would I be doing different?
Probably living with some other rats in some other cage

Isn’t it strange to be a loaner
To prove yourself you’re not at home
Isn’t it strange I’m disconnected
from what I want and what feels like home

By Chris Hartman

Fade

I’ve been smiling from a message you left me
I’d be lying if I said I don’t believe
In love at all, I know it sounds cliche
But I guess I’ll let this smile fade

They are breaking their vows, I can’t believe
They are making out of nothing- families
Another face in the crowd, another statistic they say
Slide along the curve and fade

Scenes are changing, it happens all the time
We are playing different roles and singing different lines
Everyone forgets walk-on parts in the play
So enjoy it while lasts- it fades

The picture you sent me- best laugh I’ve had in days
So I guess I’ll show my teeth and fade

By Chris Hartman

Isn't It Awesome

Isn’t it awesome to drive 100 miles?
Isn’t it awesome to share 100 smiles
With the girl you like, who you just can’t get enough?
Isn’t it awesome when she doesn’t give a fuck?

I’m tired of living life with chains around my head
Keeping all the thoughts inside that I like to pretend
Don’t really make a difference in how my life unfolds
Weighing me down like an anchor, making me feel old

I’m making my own problems, I'm wrestling a dove
So I say isn’t it awesome to be in love

Isn’t it awesome to have kittens on your bed?
Isn’t it awesome to have a hundred friends
Who really fucking love you cuz you’re an honest guy?
Isn’t it awesome when you’re so lonely you could die?

I just can’t understand why I’ve always been this way
Building up the walls around me, keeping the truth at bay
Seeing people how I want to, not for who they are
Painting their life like a picture, imagining who they are

I’m making my own problems, making my own stress
So I say isn’t it awesome to be depressed

I know these feelings are probably normal
I’m not really depressed or in love
I guess that makes it easier knowing I’m not the only one
These distractions are fucking awful and keep me from having fun

I’m making my own problems with the worst of them and best
So I say isn’t it awesome to be a mess

By Chris Hartman

It's a Crime

Feeling the itch of a small town
I guess tonight I'm gonna run around
I was trying to hold out
Like a politician waiting for his next payout

A couple calls, a couple messages
and I'm possessing it, I'm running low
There's a lot on the line they take your money and time
No one knows, no one knows

We get so low and we haven't hit the bottom yet
And no one knows

That I'm feeling like there's no doing right
I know they're taking over, it's a crime
And I feel alive when I do what I like
I know they're building an explosion, say goodbye

Just read the news on the Internet, remember to pay the rent,
and there's all the evidence you're just surviving
We didn't make it, we're given it
And I am struggling with tons of it you're working for none of it

I think it's time that I slow it down
Working days always gets me down
About that time to be walking
I can see your lips but I can't hear you talking

We get so low and we haven't hit the bottom yet
And no one knows this is not a bottomless pit
And no one knows

That I'm feeling like there's no doing right
I know they're taking over, it's a crime
And I feel alive when I do what I like
I know they're building an explosion, say goodbye

By Chris Hartman

Keep it On

Breathing in and breathing out
Take it all in, don’t stop now
Time was always running out
But now it’s running over you
Feel the rush, endorphins rise
Nothing matters, open eyes
Remember rhythm is inside
Forget the chaos in my mind

Needing nothing to keep on moving on
Except my car with the radio on
I’m letting the music turn me on
Needing nothing to let go. Keep it on!
The pain in my heart is finally gone
I know this moment won’t last for long
It turns me on, keep it on!

Feeling heavy, sinking in
They’re throwing bombs and battling
I’m tired of the war within
Between the voices underneath my skin
Breathing in, the stars will rise
Nothing matters open eyes
Breathing out, rhythm inside
Forget the chaos in my mind

Breathing in and breathing out
Take it all in, don’t stop now
Time was always running out
But now it’s running over you

By Chris Hartman

Little Signs

Oh baby can you tell time?
Look at my watch, it’s half past nine
You fell asleep in my bedroom
I never knew you could be so rude

It’s the little signs that bother me
Never thought they could talk to me
About bigger signs in front of me
Learning to read before I can see

Wait a minute, this don’t feel right
Working all day and come home and night
Walk in the door and start feeling bad
Always just thought I was going mad

It’s the little signs that bother me
Never thought they could talk to me
About bigger signs in front of me
Learning to read before I can see

Walking down the stairs, the signs are obvious
Looking in the glass, the signs are obvious
Looking out for you, the signs are obvious
Hanging all around, the signs are obvious

It’s the little signs that bother me
Never thought they could talk to me
About bigger signs in front of me
Learning to read before I can see

By Chris Hartman

My Little Sparrow

“Lie, lie… lie”
Sang the sparrow from a branch so high
Oh my, oh my… oh
“Come,” sang the sparrow, “I will lead you home.”

I’m coming to meet you now
I’m coming to meet you now
I wonder if she’ll be there now
My little sparrow who will lead me home

“Lie, lie… lie”
I’m an old man. I don’t have much time.
Oh my, oh my… oh
Will I hear the sparrow and know which way to go?

I’m coming to meet you now
I’m coming to meet you now
I hope taht she’ll be there now
My little sparrow who will lead me home.

By Chris Hartman

Name

There was once a poor lad
Who laid down on the corner
He was hungry and tired and broken
He was under the stars when his soul departed
No one ever knew his name

There was once a good priest
Who forgave many people
When he died they inscribed his headstone
O’er the years stone does wear and the earth reclaims us
No they’ll never know his name

There was once a lass and lad
Ne’er a pair came before them
Who did spread love around like music
Then one day, no music played; Lass’s beating did stop
But Lad never forgot her name

Then one day, no music played; Lad’s beating did stop
No, they’ll never know their names

By Chris Hartman

No Black Hole

You've got one thing, I've got another
I'm thinking maybe we should help each other
Work a little less, make a little more
What else is it for?
You're either dying young or living to be poor

When we get traction, you'll see what I mean
Lower those shields, turn on that tractor beam
Move a little less, float a little more
Don't say you're unsure
You're either on this cruise or swimming to the shore

Stars are burning all of the time
You're no black hole cuz I can feel you just fine
I can feel you, I can hear you
My sun never sets when I am near you

By Chris Hartman

Pillar of Salt

I say the words, they float away
They don’t hold much weight
Cuz what they mean doesn’t show
You better let them go
Or they will let you down

The fire falls
Pillar of salt

I close the door and breath out
Don’t forget the in, keep walking
The neighbors fight, scream and shout
There’s no way they hear me talking
To myself or when I swear
For no good fucking reason at you
I hate the look that you wear
when you’re about to cry

The fire falls
Pillar of salt

Here’s my name on the card that Ohio gave me
For getting older keeping track of
Where I live down the road around town for 30 years
I’ve only had like five addresses
My fingerprints on a bottle of beer, like my 3rd one
I’ve got the credit bill to prove it
I don’t know the person
Who’s in the mirror

The fire falls
Pillar of salt

By Chris Hartman

Red and White

Show your teeth, show your smile
Maybe laugh for a while

Show your stripes, show your claws
They are more than your flaws

Tell yourself "I'm alright,
I feel fine"

Baby girl, red and white
What's it cost for the night

Hold me up
I’ll hold you down here with me

Tell yourself "I'm alright,
I feel fine"

By Gene Wilson

Religion

I am a follower o’er mountain, forest, sea
My priestess leads me, praise to Love, I’ve found belief
Burning a candle in your temple every night
Making an offering on my knees so you might
Take this my love and in return
Guidance from above to learn your religion

Skeleton fingers turning pages Christian thin
Ladies on plastic cards with futures limited
Twelve constellations- pretty pictures in the stars
Putting faith and getting grace from things that aren’t so far
Take this my love and in return
Guidance from above to learn your religion

There was a time when I was living with you
Everything I have it was given for you
But bodies occupy different space
Like you moving to a different place
You cry indifference on my face

But I want you to know that
I’ve got your faith flung
Over my shoulder, I’m pulling you closer
Calling your name over and over

There was a time when I was kneeling with you
But I let go of that feeling- It’s through, I'm through
Used to think we just had different views
You read the Bible, I read the news
Now I know why I’ve been so confused
You say gifts have been given unto me
Like my mind thinking skeptically?
How could quote that verse to me?

But I want you to know that
I’ve got your faith flung
Over my shoulder, I’m pulling you closer
Calling your name over and over

By Chris Hartman

Sparks

Time is normally against me
But not tonight, it's on my side
Hindsight's normally enlightening
But not tonight, it’s blinding

I’m leaving home before day
There’s nothing you can say
Sparks

Word just gets around to my friends
It's obvious, I'm dying
Words just float around in my head
I'm talking and driving

I’m pulling in before day
There’s something I must say
Sparks

The space between our hands
Can you feel it too?

Take me home before day
There’s nothing left to say

The space between our hands (sparks)
Do you feel it now?

Too much time in my head
It was nothing that I said
Sparks

By Chris Hartman

Stay

You’re a stone’s throw away but I don’t have the right
To pine o’er your love and ruin your night
I guess I’ll plant my words inside a jar
And bury the thing in my backyard
The seed will grow just like a weed
A misunderstood willow tree
A reminder of the things I’ll never do
Like growing a garden or loving you
Below the branches you will hear me say
I don’t know who you are but I know I want you to stay

I’m starting to learn that what we believe
Is as good as truth, at least practically
Like how smoking helps me get through the day
Placebo Tylenol for my heartache
And I believe the thing called Love
Comes not from Heart but up above
our heart. I know it comes from our brain
Love is chemicals and DNA
inside my head and it’s compelling me to say
I don’t know what this is but I know I want you to stay

I’m dreaming of a beach, don’t know how long I’ve been there
The ocean at my feet, the taste of salt in the air
I turn around, I’m standing on a road
I’ve seen this place before, I think it’s by my home
I see you walking down the street
Your face is turned away from me
Behind I hear the calling of the sea
In front I hear the weeping willow tree
And then I wake before I get a chance to say
I don’t know where you are, I want you to stay

By Chris Hartman

Take My Hand

I can’t impress you, you’re impossible to please
I’m fighting who I am
How could you take me? I've just barely learned to see.
How could you take my hand?

Time is coming back around and I am writing all of my thoughts down
Just like I did when I was 16
Funny how the years go by in circles and our springs still unwind like
Batteries for our machines.

I can’t forget you, you are always in my dreams
I’m fighting who I am
How could you take me? Me with all these memories
How could take my hand?

Waking up is hard enough without your picture burned in my brain
9am already out of patience
Getting high to pacify the urge to call you and invite you over
Now my whole day is wasted

I can’t seduce you, you’re impossible to please
I’m fighting who I am
How could you take me? I’m alone but am not free
How could you take my hand?

Once I had a satellite in orbit around my black hole heart
It moved on and I got even colder
But sitting on the beach alone can help you understand just how small
You are in the big picture

I don't expect you to see anything but me
I’m fighting who I am
How could you take me? You’re oh so different from me
How could you take my hand?

By Chris Hartman

The Spins

The room is full already
But there’s people walking in
Eyes seem so unsteady like
There’s no more room in here

Feel the friction, feel it set in
Now the floor is bending
Losing focus, we’re so heavy
Or are we just pretending

No one wants to slow down
But there’s no more room in here
Out of our control now

Screaming from the ceiling
A sea of faceless faces
Frantic but they feel it
So we might as well embrace it

Through the smoke and mirrors
I finally find you near me
But all my screams are whispers
And there’s no way you’ll hear me

No one wants to slow down
But there’s no more room in here
Out of our control now

The rabbit I’ve been chasing
Don’t know why I thought it was real
Lights on, the room is empty
Don’t know why I thought I’d see you

By Gene Wilson

Tricked

Get up this morning, throw on my skin
Don’t talk about it, out as quick as I am in
Go out to lunch, eyes on my phone
The subtle art of blending in, standing out, and being alone

The more I think, the less I know
The right way to let it go

Got your eye on any? Yeah, over there
Serving coffee, pink shirt and blonde hair
But it’s not worth trying, we’d never get along
I can’t stomach anything that’s too bitter or too strong

The more I think, the less I know
The right way to let it go
I’m not broken but I’m not fixed
You’re getting better, I’m getting tricked

Driving home at the end of the day
You’re riding shotgun, in the back are my mistakes
The day’s not over cuz I'm still awake
Go to the basement, put my thoughts on display
When I think about it, how we barely spoke
But the house was spotless, and you folded my clothes
Now I’m dumping laundry baskets out onto the floor
And I can’t see the carpet, I don’t open blinds anymore

The more I think, the less I know
The right way to let it go
I’m not broken but I’m not fixed
You’re getting better, I’m getting tricked

By Chris Hartman

Voices

Two talking heads
tugging on our strings.
Marionettes
learning how to sing.

You must be afraid
You must not engage
Voices in your head

We go to bed,
they're in our sheets.
They're over your shoulder
and under your feet.

You must be afraid
Of all we have made
Voices in your head

You must be afraid
You must not engage
You must be afraid
Voices in your head

By Chris Hartman